Book of the week - ‘You’re Not Listening’ - Kate Murphy
“Listen to understand, not to be understood”
When you read this quote, what comes to your mind? how do you interpret this?
The quote "Listen to understand, not to be understood" emphasises the importance of active and empathetic listening in communication. When I read this quote, I interpret it as follows:
Focus on the Speaker: Instead of being preoccupied with your own thoughts, opinions, or what you want to say next, it suggests that you should make a conscious effort to fully concentrate on what the other person is saying.
Empathise and Comprehend: It encourages you to not just hear the words but also to try and understand the speaker's perspective, emotions, and intentions behind their words. It's about seeking to connect with the speaker on a deeper level.
Avoid Jumping to Conclusions: Don't rush to judgment or assume you already know what the speaker is going to say. Avoid interrupting or prematurely forming opinions, which can hinder the process of truly understanding their point of view.
Open-Mindedness: It implies being open to different viewpoints, even if they differ from your own. It's about valuing the other person's input and treating their words with respect.
The book emphasises the importance of genuine, patient, and non-judgmental listening. This approach to communication can lead to more meaningful conversations, better relationships, and a deeper understanding of the people around you. In contrast, "listen to be understood" suggests a more self-centered or agenda-driven approach to conversation, where the focus is on getting your point across rather than truly engaging with the other person.
My take aways are presented below.



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